My dream lastnight…
Since I started this Atkins thing, I’ve had the weirdest dreams every night. I mean, I don’t know for sure if that is why, but these dreams started the day I started Atkins.
Lastnight, I dreamed that Bill Nighy was a cult leader, and was wearing a pink spandex jumpsuit. He had brainwashed all of my friends* and lured them to his compound. So me and my mom went to the compound to save my friends. One friend, Matt, was so brainwashed that he thought it would be a good idea to have a party where all the girls would have to wear bras one size too small. He kept asking me what size to get, and then ran out the door to get bras at Wal-Mart. After failing to un-brainwash my friends, Bill Nighy caught on to our plan. And he banished us from the compound. But not before I pulverized his face and chopped off his arms and legs. I thought I’d killed him, but he magically pulled himself back together again.
So after being banished, Bill Nighy also decided it would be a good idea to chase after me and my mom. My mom hot-wired a red sports car in Bill Nighy’s parking garage and we sped off through the streets of downtown Los Angeles. No matter how far we drove, he kept finding us. My mom even ran him over. And he revived himself. He was invincible! After our car crashed, we were left to fend for ourselves on foot. Oh, and Bill Nighy stole my wallet, so we had no money to fund our mission. But we still wanted to save my friends. So…..we went back to the compound.
We discovered that the only way to destroy Bill Nighy and reverse the brainwashing would be to destroy his dollhouse. It was a small, pink, plastic Barbie dollhouse. And it was really flimsy. My mom distracted Bill Nighy while I carefully dismantled the dollhouse. He melted into a pile of metallic pink goo, and the spell was broken. Then we all had to get out of there - I think maybe the compound was going to explode (the compound was actually a modern condo in downtown LA with full ammenities). So we all hoofed it to the train station because none of us had cars. And who meets us at the train station? Bill Nighy. We thought we’d destroyed him, but he’d come back in a different, more evil form. After a hot pursuit on the train - like, punching each other in the face while hanging onto the side of the train - Bill Nighy lost his grip while the train was speeding through the forest and fell under the train. And we haven’t seen him since.
* He did not brainwash all of my friends. There was one - Tedd, my old neighbor. Tedd thought Bill Nighy was a weirdo, so when everyone else was lured to the compound, Tedd stayed at home and drank tea.
